Boudoir & Judaism: An Open Conversation About Sacred Self-Expression

I'm writing this post to openly share my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about boudoir photography, especially as they intersect with my Jewish faith and conservative upbringing. This is a personal reflection, an opportunity for me to explain my perspective, and I'm truly grateful you're taking the time to read it.

My goal isn't to change your point of view, nor do you need to agree with everything I say. Instead, I hope to foster mutual respect and understanding. This post will not contain any photos to ensure it's comfortable for all readers, regardless of background or comfort level. If you'd like to see my artwork, please feel free to explore my website.

What is Boudoir, Anyway? My Definition

Before diving into my story, let's clarify what boudoir photography means, as it can be interpreted differently by various people. When you hear "boudoir," you might envision an intimate photograph in a bedroom, while someone else might think of a glamorous studio shot. Both are valid interpretations, but I want to share my definition, one that I believe resonates with deeper Jewish concepts.

The word "boudoir" originally referred to a woman's private changing room. Over time, it evolved to describe sensual, intimate portraiture. For me, boudoir is a broad umbrella encompassing many styles: from traditional bedroom scenes to pin-up, fine art, and more. The images I create are always tasteful and artistic, telling a story of the human form.

These images are created for various reasons: for clients to celebrate who they are, to mark a significant milestone, or as a gift for a significant other. Ultimately, boudoir is a transformative experience. Clients often leave a session feeling more confident in themselves, gaining a new and positive outlook on their bodies and lives.

Crucially, boudoir is not pornographic, and it never should be. My personal rule is this: If I would feel embarrassed to show an image to my wife or mother, I won't shoot it. This ensures all my work remains within the bounds of art and personal empowerment.

My Journey into Boudoir Photography: Finding the Sacred in Self-Expression

My name is Evan Gurman. I grew up in a conservative synagogue, had a Bar Mitzvah, earned a black belt in Taekwondo, and, in what might seem like a stereotypical Jewish career path, became an accountant. My photography journey began at 14, working under the incredible photographer Brett, with whom I still collaborate. After college, I stepped away from event photography, got my CPA license, and immersed myself in my professional accounting life.

Tax season was, well, taxing, and I found little time for my camera. Eventually, I decided to shift my accounting role, which freed up my weekends. It was my parents who encouraged me to pick up my camera again.

To many, I might sound like a perfectly respectable Jewish man. So, how did I become involved in an industry that some might consider a shandah (a disgrace or scandal)? Let me explain.

I primarily shoot engagements, weddings, and mitzvahs. However, during COVID, I started working with models. One particular model I photographed came from a highly conservative background. We were doing a cool Marilyn Monroe-style shoot, and at the end, she requested an implied shot with her back exposed and the city skyline in the background. I talked with her to confirm her vision, and I took the shot. Personally, I wasn't thrilled with the technical aspects—I wasn't mentally prepared for an implied topless photo, and the lighting was harsh. Yet, she loved it. It gave her a profound sense of freedom regarding her body, allowing her to see herself in a new light.

While not an "award-winning" image in my eyes, that photo gave her all the superpowers in the world. That feeling—of building trust, respect, and a deep connection with my client through their images—was incredibly special. The photo did more than create art; it fed a missing part of her nishama (soul).

This wasn't a boudoir session in the traditional sense; it was more of an artistic model session. But it opened my eyes to the powerful art form boudoir could be. From that moment, I began to explore how I could offer boudoir as a service, extending beyond traditional bedroom styles to include fine art and glamour. I even did a unique Adam & Eve shoot with a live snake, exploring the original biblical narrative in an artistic way.

Reclaiming "Naked and Unashamed"

The story of Adam and Eve in Genesis holds a profound lesson for me. Before the sin, they were "naked and unashamed" (Genesis 2:25). Their physical forms were pure, unburdened by self-consciousness or societal judgment. It was only after the transgression that "the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked" (Genesis 3:7), leading to shame and the need for cover.

In a profound way, my boudoir photography aims to help individuals reclaim that pre-sin state of being "unashamed"—not necessarily in a literal sense of being unclothed, but in a psychological and emotional sense of comfort, acceptance, and empowerment with their own bodies. It's about shedding the layers of societal shame and personal insecurity to truly see themselves with reverence and beauty. Some ancient Jewish texts even suggest Adam and Eve were initially clothed in "garments of light." Perhaps the true "clothing" of boudoir, when done with intention, is helping clients rediscover that inner light, that spiritual radiance, that allows them to shine.

Over time, I've built a client base and had the opportunity to work with diverse individuals with different goals for their images. My favorite part is the moment I reveal their albums. Some clients cry, others are speechless, and many are simply amazed. They get to see themselves in a profoundly new light.

In today's world, while marketers are improving at showcasing humans in more natural forms—being inclusive of different body types, backgrounds, and abilities—we still tend to compare ourselves to idealized advertisements. But as Jews, we believe Hashem never created us to be "perfect" but to strive to be our best selves every day. My artwork helps clients see themselves in that beautiful, authentic light.

I take pride in helping both men and women (yes, men can do boudoir shoots too!) see themselves in a way they rarely do. I've received messages from clients who were in a dark place, telling me how our shoot helped pull them out of it, allowing them to see themselves with renewed respect and care. Boudoir is an art form, and in the right hands, it is a superpower.

Beyond the Lens: Connecting to Mitzvot in Judaism

When clients come to me feeling disconnected from their bodies, or struggling with self-worth, I see my work as connected to profound Jewish principles:

• Sh'mirat HaGuf (Guarding the Body): Judaism teaches us the profound mitzvah of sh'mirat haguf, guarding our bodies, for they are a divine gift, the vessel for our souls. While this often refers to physical health, I believe it extends to our emotional and psychological well-being. My work helps individuals heal and nurture their relationship with the physical self that Hashem created in His image. This, in turn, empowers them to live more fully and engage with the world with greater strength and spirit.

• Kavod HaBriyot (Human Dignity): Central to Jewish thought is the concept of kavod habriyot, the inherent dignity of every human being, created b'tzelem Elokim—in G-d's image. In my studio, this principle guides every interaction. My process, from initial consultation to the final reveal, is designed to ensure clients feel respected, empowered, and fully in control, affirming their intrinsic worth and celebrating the divine spark within them.

• Tikkun Atzmi (Repairing the Self): The Jewish concept of tikkun olam, repairing the world, often brings to mind grand acts of social justice. Yet, our sages also teach about tikkun atzmi, the repair of the self. My experience has shown me that when a person is able to heal their relationship with their own body, to reclaim confidence and self-acceptance, it is a profound act of tikkun atzmi. This personal repair can then ripple outwards, empowering them to engage more fully and joyfully in their families, communities, and ultimately, to contribute to the broader tikkun olam.

My Professional Process

You might still be thinking, "Evan, you're a married Jewish man! How can you be photographing people in intimate or exposed moments?" That's a fair question, and it's essential to understand my process.

I am incredibly fortunate to have a loving, supportive, and caring wife. She is, and always has been, my number one cheerleader. People often ask how I balance my relationship with photographing boudoir, and the simple answer is communication. From when we first started dating, I've always been transparent about my shoots—the date, location, who's involved, and the purpose. I continue to do this, and when available, she sometimes even assists on set.

Regarding nudity in the imagery, as I mentioned, everyone has their own definition of boudoir. For some, it means being fully clothed; for others, it's the opposite. I always conduct a phone consultation with clients to discuss their vision and make it clear that they have complete control over what they wear and how they pose. I can offer suggestions, but my top priority is their comfort, allowing them to push their boundaries if they wish to.

Clients are always allowed and encouraged to bring a supportive friend to the session. I prefer having someone there to adjust hair or clothing, allowing the client to maintain their pose. Most importantly, I avoid physical contact with any client, male or female, at all costs.

For posing, I demonstrate the pose first and have the client mirror or replicate it.

I always begin each session by telling the client that their comfort is my absolute priority. I encourage them to let me know immediately if anything feels off so we can adjust or even stop the session. My wife understands the high level of professionalism I apply during my sessions. It is my guiding principle and a core part of my brand.

Why I'm Writing This

So, why write this blog post and share it publicly? Why address Judaism in a profession that some in the community might consider a sin?

The reason is simple: I know people talk. I know this topic could be brought up in conversation, leading to assumptions and misunderstandings.

I have immense respect for Judaism, Chabad, my Rabbis, mentors, and congregants. I attend services, study Talmud, and continuously strive to deepen my understanding of what it means to be Jewish. But at some point, my work in boudoir will inevitably come to light—whether through a Google search, or a whisper at Kiddush lunch.

I want to get ahead of it. I want to present my perspective clearly before misunderstandings arise or cause discomfort for others. I know my in-laws initially had strong feelings about my artwork, fearing it could cause jealousy. While I'm sure they may still not entirely agree with it, they've come to understand it and why I do it. They've also seen the incredible impact I've had on my clients (my Google reviews speak volumes).

So, if this topic comes up, I can confidently ask, "Did you read my article on it?" I can then engage in a professional, respectful discussion.

Again, my aim isn't to change your mind, but rather to foster mutual respect and understanding. I welcome respectful conversations and questions. What are your thoughts on how art can empower us to see ourselves through a more sacred lens?